ASK PURE - Should I Give My Boyfriend the Threesome He Wants?

01.09.2020

Graham from Houston writes, “So my boyfriend has been hinting about how we want a threesome lately. We have been together for about a year now. Part of me is into it but I have never had an open relationship before and I am nervous to mess things up. Any suggestions?”

Graham from Houston writes, “So my boyfriend has been hinting about how we want a threesome lately. We have been together for about a year now. Part of me is into it but I have never had an open relationship before and I am nervous to mess things up. Any suggestions?”
Well, Graham, this question is one that comes up all the time. But the right answer is different for each and every couple. A healthy relationship is one that is based on trust and mutual understanding, and we firmly believe that as long as you have those two things, the rest is up to you and your partner to design. However, we can help you sort your thoughts so that you can be confident in your threesome quandary.

First, why does your boyfriend want to have a threesome? If you don’t know, ask him! Maybe his reasons are rooted in some deeper issues, and maybe he just wants to have a naked party with you and someone new? Either way, open communication about what you both want in the bedroom is the first step in making sure your relationship stays healthy.

Second, what are your reservations about a threesome? Are you worried that it will lead to playing separately? Are you worried that your boyfriend is somehow unsatisfied? Regardless, these are also vital conversations that you two need to have together before stepping into new territory. It is good that you are worried because you want to keep your relationship on the up and up. But that doesn’t mean a threesome or any other new sexual venture will mess that up, it just means that it is time that you guys talk about your comfort zones.

Regardless, these are also vital conversations that you two need to have together before stepping into new territory.

Lastly, you said part of you is into it? Please, tell us more! Sex is fun, and if you want to explore what is fun for both of you, then you should feel empowered to do so. Don’t let other people or other societal norms make you feel ashamed about your sexual interests. As long as the two of you are on the same page, enjoy your sex life!

No matter what you decided to do, it all comes down to being honest with yourself and to each other.